Letting Go – A Busy Mom’s Guide to the Other Side

I sat in the parking lot waiting for Anne to arrive. I’m always early, Anne is always a couple minutes late. It had been a while since we last met in person and my mind was swimming with questions and ideas eagerly wanting to share and collaborate. My heart was feeling the need to connect on a much deeper level, begging to once again be assured what it already knew, everything is and always will be okay.  We had spoken briefly on the phone when we made the date to get together at her office. Like school girls we spoke fast and tried to let our ears catch up with our racing minds and lips. I had missed our late night banters and friendly discussions while we ironed out the laws of the Universe and infused it all with an overtired, overused, and overrun mommy energy.

I shared with her that I was changing the name of the first A Little Lift book to Letting Go because it seemed to sum up my journey better of having to live through a second failed marriage and hopefully prevent myself from going through it a third time. We talked about what we had learned about ourselves from both going through divorce and how the process eventually molded us into better versions of who we thought we could be. Our conversation turned into a mini support group and reminded Anne that she had once thought we should form a group to help women transition through divorce and emerge as a better version of themselves. Anne picked up her calendar book and said, “We’re doing it! We’re picking a date and opening it up to a handful of women who would like to meet at Blue Tree Reiki and share in their journey to a better place in their life.”

We all find ourselves trying so hard to hold onto a life that just doesn't work anymore...what if you allowed yourself to try Letting Go?

We all find ourselves trying so hard to hold onto a life that just doesn’t work anymore…what if you allowed yourself to try Letting Go?

Anne had first found my book and begun reading it while she was going through her divorce. It was only coincidental that we met a year or so later and she recognized my name and mentioned that my book had helped her. It was ironic as I was in her office for the same reason, looking for help through a touchy transition in my life. I helped her without even knowing it and now she is helping me. It’s kind of how I imagine the Universe is supposed to work. When we come together and share our life experiences from a place of love without judgement or shame than there is only growth that will occur. I found in writing my first book that in order to  become more of who you always imagined yourself to be, that you must first let go of everything that doesn’t support that miraculous soul and allow yourself to be renewed, and accepting of love.

photo by Sandy Hamel

photo by Sandy Hamel

I looked up at Anne and smiled. She said she was serious. She wanted me to come to Blue Tree Reiki and share pieces of my story with a small group so that they woman would know that they are not alone and there is hope in moving forward. Anne’s eyes twinkled as she waited patiently for me to agree. I nodded yes and felt a surge of excitement course through my body. I have a soft spot in my heart for people who feel like they are the “underdogs” in life, I’ve always shared my own experiences with others, even strangers so they wouldn’t feel as if they were the only ones wading in life’s muck. Anne picked up a pen and asked if January 21st worked for me for the first group. I nodded and said yes. She penciled in the first Letting Go discussion group.

As I sit here writing this post, I am wondering to myself if maybe I experienced divorce twice not just because I’m a slow learner, but also because someday I might need to be a little bit more empathetic to the journey of others. Maybe I experienced the darkness and rebirth that comes with divorce so I could let people know that its not always the easiest and best way out of a relationship. Maybe I experienced my divorces so that I could simply that people know that eventually everything will be okay again.  What ever the reason, here I am, working with Anne while moving forward in the best way I know possible. Sharing my experiences with others so they know that they are not alone and they always have choices and options when it comes to building the life they want to live, just might be the reason I like best.  If you would like to join our first “Letting Go” group centered on discussion of surviving divorce and becoming a newer version of self on January 21st email either myself or Anne.  Bluetree143@gmail.com or Jparkersobo@gmail.com.

There will be a small fee of $5.00 each person.

 

 

 

 



  • Please Rattle My Cage – A Busy Mom’s Guide to the Other Side

    We’ve all been there, feeling as though we are stuck in a place with no escape. Last week fell hard on me between the demands of the girls activities, a new job, and bills coming due that I needed to wait for payday to take care of. The more my husband reassured me that everything always works out, the more I seemed to fall apart into a million pieces feeling lost and inconsolable. It was more than just being stretched too thin, our schedule is always jam packed with appointments, activities, farm and household chores, and events we want to experience. In one single moment I woke up feeling as though instead of living the life I had always dreamed of, I was trapped in a place of professional uncertainty and life patterns I couldn’t escape. I woke up feeling just as I had after I graduated college and hadn’t landed my first professional job yet. I was just shy of my forty fourth birthday and instead of being cemented in my career I was once again starting over, fresh in a new position.

    I pulled myself out of bed and turned on the hot water to steam up the bathroom. I became lost as the room filled and the mirror fogged. My throat became blocked and the heaviness of self doubt weighed down onto my chest and dared me to imagine my career being more than it felt like it was. The little angel on my shoulder pleaded with me to look on the bright side, I liked my new job, the people, and starting from scratch again. I have always embraced change. The devil quickly pointed out that I had already been there, done that many times. I wiped the mirror just enough to pull my hair into a tight bun and stepped beneath the hot pulsating water. It awakened my senses and reminded me that I had a full day jam packed with work, kids practices and activities, house and farm chores, and that I desperately needed to find time to pick up some groceries somewhere in between.

    After both girls were on the bus and I had dressed for work I reached for my phone. The heavy lump in my throat had only grown bigger and my incessant need to figure everything out in life raged war inside of me. I began typing a text to one of the few people I felt would understand and somehow have something helpful to answer back with. I resisted putting my phone down, I had tried to convince myself that I was being over dramatic and I just needed a change of scenery like leaving the driveway. I quickly texted a message and hit send before I was overruled by unchecked emotion.

    “I need your help in understanding how I clear this big lump of fear in my throat and from my chest so I can shift from the mindset and way of doing life that I’m currently in. Is it all tied in to lack of self worth? How can I truly own my own value?”

    I threw my phone to the passenger seat next to me and turned out of my driveway. My face felt flushed and I tried to forget that I had just put my inner workings out like dirty laundry to be aired. I pushed down the heavy feeling in my throat and chest into my stomach and prepared myself to face the day head on without any hesitation or need to be more than I was able to be in each given moment.

    Ann DonnellIt wasn’t till hours later when I was back in bed exhausted and depleted from a full day of chasing my tail did I remember the text I had sent out to my friend Anne, the Psychic & Healer. I felt my phone buzz next to me on my nightstand. I rolled over to see who it was and hoped that she had heard my cry for help and had some sort of instant spiritual fix to help me realize my full potential.

    “Take some time for YOU. Quiet, reflective time for you…Detach from your routine & take a walk by yourself…Walk the beach…Clear your head… It will be good that we are meeting next week…I’ll be able to rattle your cage a bit.”

    I smiled and placed my phone back on the nightstand. I rolled over away from the edge of the bed and pulled the comforter up over my shoulder. My eyes set heavy and my body lighter knowing that I had survived an over scheduled day from hell and my family was still in one piece. I replayed Anne’s text in my mind and reveled in the knowledge that the truth is most often simple and full of common sense, something we should have been able to pull out for ourselves. Yes I’m tired of living day to day financially, unwilling to lean on my husband to make my struggle go away, but I know in my heart that its about more than the balance in my bank account and each new experience and person met is a step in the right direction.

    It’s been a week since this day happened. I met with Anne this morning and had one of the most inspiring, exhilarating, and liberating conversations and sessions. The heaviness which seemed all consuming a week ago has since dissipated and been replaced with a renewed sense of hope and determination. Anne and I chose a date for another Medium Circle which will be taking place in January as well as created a new venture which will work towards letting go of past trauma and baggage and moving forward to a new life free of unnecessary constraints and burdens. There’s so much more that I want to share about my journey with a Busy Mom’s Guide to the Other Side but my lids are growing heavy again, and a girl needs her sleep. Stay tuned, I’m excited to be able to share what’s coming up in the near future for Anne Donnell, Psychic, Medium, & Healer and myself a mom, a wife, and a writer.



  • Shareworthy

    With so much being posted, shared, and blogged it’s a wonder that we aren’t all on information overload. Being a contributor to posting photos, stories, thoughts, and quotes on various social networks, I rarely stop and ask myself if what I’m posting is “Shareworthy”. I often see or read something that ignites a spark inside of me and without hesitating my finger pushes down on the key sending the image or words out to the vast universe we call the internet having no idea where it will eventually land or who will read it.  I most likely know whose eyes will see what I forward on, write, and or share with the masses, maybe I’m not supposed to know. I’ve become addicted to the notion that if you find something that moves you whether just a few steps or thousands of miles ahead that it just might do the same for someone else.

    ded414e7dc8fb293d1444cc344a165f7We are all individuals having unique experiences, or are we? I remember being a teenager and often having the feeling that no one could possibly understand what I was going through and that I must continue going at it alone until everything worked its way out. As I became older and let my guard down, as I began sharing my thoughts and feelings out loud through conversation and writing, I realized that although we are individuals each of us all have something in common. None of us are truly going at it alone or nor will we ever be. We are all connected in this vast network of living called the human experience. There isn’t an emotion, struggle, or strife that someone else hasn’t or is experiencing in the very same moment you are feeling weighted by the world and all its opposing joys. Our burdens are the heaviest when we believe that we have to carry them on our own.

    If we are aware that there are others around us perhaps having a hard time getting things moving in their lives wouldn’t it make sense that we all feel inspired to pass along the Shareworthy items in life? If there is someone close to us that is having a hard time pushing forward from a place that we’ve been why wouldn’t we open ourselves up, let our guards down, and let them know that eventually their life will find a way of working itself out and the struggle and strife will weave itself into threads of a beautiful story. The most epic adventures told come from a place where the chips always seem to be down and trouble lurks around every corner. The only way to get past the troubles in life is to keep moving forward, taking the smallest steps at first till you have grown strong enough to leap from a place of uncertainty and doubt to one of strength and determination. With each small step you will grow stronger, wiser, and more loving to yourself and to others and that is where the magic of the journey begins to happen. It’s in loving yourself and others when life is at its most uncertain that you have the ability to grow the most, becoming who you were always meant to be.

    How do we know exactly what is Shareworthy these days and when it is okay to share and add to the endless swirl of information and images? If we won’t know who we are reaching and why then it requires an act of blind faith to listen to that little voice that guides your finger to push down on the key each and every time. For those of us who have been drawn to open up and share, we just need to remember that every season has a reason and we just happen to be one of them. To my new friend who seems to be parting a lot of Shareworthy information on me these days, thank you.